Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
