You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
