Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
