IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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