But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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