do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
