i just had sex bonerless
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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