Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
