Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize