I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
