I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
