Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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