There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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