I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
