I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
