Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
