It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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