This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
did you just send me my own nude
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
