I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
either way he was missing a nipple.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
