But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
