Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
