she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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