Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
