Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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