Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
