i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
