Kiss
Puke
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I want her autograph on my taint
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
