Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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