Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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