he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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