I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
