What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
