But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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