i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
