I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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