Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
NoShamevember. You game?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
