Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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