So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
