I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
