mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
