I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
