It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
