That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
She bit a glass in half.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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