Pants 0. Shit 1.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
of course. lets lasso hookers.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
