I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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