I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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