Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize