kristin has been a bad kristin
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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