I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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