life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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