I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
