"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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